Sexuality

is one of the distinguishing aspects of the human experience.

Yet, in a patriarchal society where pretty much everything is a male preserve, youngsters in Arab countries feel ambivalent about sex and sexuality. They feel torn between choosing one of two evils: Either the human version of Eros fulfilling his sexual desires and living in harmony with his 'biological' nature and at peace with his 'adult' self, or ending up like someone stuck in a unsatisfying masturbation loop, letting out their sexual frustration in a form of hostile behavior.

This puts youth in a vulnerable position where they want to satisfy their needs and bond with their partners on a more intimate level, yet at the same time fear the consequences and their actions’ outcomes .

Being an emotive subject, the sexual act (or more precisely, the lack of it) has always been a conundrum in the mindset of Arab youth due to the off-putting, restrictive cultural and religious precepts surrounding sex and sexuality. Not to mention that we currently have embarked on a new age where sexual freedom has gained ground. Under the undeniable influence of mass media, which are to a large extent feeding us western portrayals of sexuality, the sexual beliefs and behaviors of youth in the Arab world are constantly being shaped. With that said, one might argue that sexual realities in the Arab world tend to be very divergent from the outlined diktat of the governments or cultural norms.

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Let's take Saudi Arabia for example. Despite being overtly repressive, its sexual life is quite active but under the radar, ranging from extramarital sex and homosexuality to prostitution. On the far end of the spectrum of the sexually repressed Arab countries, Tunisia comes forth having a rather inconsistent record with its otherwise outwardly progressive societal outlook and freedom scores.

Despite being frowned upon in the public eye and regulated by official authorities, people in Arab countries still create spaces where they can be sexually free. They would for example engage in non-penetrative sexual acts or even anal sex in what I can only describe as a humorous attempt to satisfy both “Allah” and “Abdullah”. On a related note, caught between the hammer of "halal" and the anvil of "haram", many women and girls would rather have hymen repair surgeries than abstain from sex, and rather go through with abortions than have to resort to the degrading and judgmental involvement of the pharmacists or medical staff to get contraceptive pills, condoms or pregnancy tests.

As a matter of fact, women's sexuality is being more regulated than that of men, seeing that the onus of chastity is solely placed on them while men are given more leeway to sexually express themselves freely. Much like any other Arab country, the experience of sexuality in Tunisia is hindered by religious and cultural interdictions.

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With that in mind, and in order to promote the welfare of young individuals, introducing appropriate and comprehensive sex education in school programs seems to be an efficient way to demolish the barriers surrounding sexuality. Unfortunately, aside from pregnancy prevention, most of our youth aren't well-informed on all the sexually transmitted diseases (STD's), how to protect themselves from them or even about the safe sexual practices that make a healthy individual, thereby, a healthy couple or family.

Even though, within the limited sexual and reproductive health programs provided by the government, educators merely give the ABC's with a dissuading undertone. As a result of this lack of sex education both at home and in schools, young people resort to volatile sources like Internet and mainstream mass media (Television, magazines, and pornography). A British-Canadian-Egyptian academic, Shereen El Feki, once said

I swear by God, there is a genuine need for knowledge on this subject. Those who do not know about sex or make fun of it, are ignorant, stupid, small-minded.

I can only imagine that this was said out of desperation and frustration.

As shown above, feelings of love and lust may be frowned upon or, worse yet, penalized by our society. It would rather be foolish to completely disregard the fact that these feelings are part of our human nature and need to be addressed accordingly. However, sexuality cannot be dealt with in a vacuum, without revisiting and taking into consideration religious and cultural axioms. A change should not be divorced from reality otherwise it would be very tricky and sensitive to implement.

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All things considered, staying stuck in a medieval mindset with double standards, where men are praised for being sexually active while women are stigmatized for even hinting at their sexuality, is just outdated and counterproductive.

A more constructive approach however would be to keep an open mind and encourage youngsters to embrace their sexuality in a healthy and responsible manner. It is also equally important to provide comprehensive, age sensitive and reliable information regarding reproductive health and rights along with a positive and more progressive approach to sexuality. In the long run, young people will develop a better and healthier perception of relationships and the sexual act itself consequently making more informed and responsible choices.

Image Source: [Sexuality](https://unsplash.com/photos/T_Sn8WCjRiA)