“Ugh, I’ve got exams coming up next week and haven’t even opened a book yet.”

“Man, I’d love to join you, but I really have to study. I can’t fail that test AGAIN..”

“I took the exam just yesterday, and I swear to god, I can’t remember a single thing of all the things I learned for it.”

Sentences like these might be among the things you’ll hear from a student most commonly. Full of stress, desperation, and sometimes just plain resignation. And though after graduating and upon entering the workforce the words might differ, the emotions often still stay the same. Because even when you’ve made it out of public school, you’re still stuck with the mindset it gave you. The mindset of learning and performing out of fear, may it be fear to fail the test or be told off by your boss. Of being ashamed of the mistakes you make, and of having someone tell you what to focus on.

It is that mindset that prevents you to achieve true excellence, and to become the greatest you can be. Sadly, in today’s public schools, it is the only mindset that is taught. But there is an alternative, and many parents have already chosen it as a path for their children. The magic word is Unschooling.

The basic premise of unschooling is that children are incredibly curious and have an innate desire to learn and to understand the world. But they are very different in how they learn. Be it pace, interest, level of energy, learning style, you name it. No two children are the same. So putting them in school, where they all have to learn the same things, at the same time and pace, will be quite inefficient. Some children will be bored while others will be overburdened. And all of them will have the same mindset mentioned earlier.

With unschooling, the children can choose what to learn and when to learn it. But what might be most important is that they learn how to organize and prioritize information and how best to take it in. Essentially, they learn to self-manage instead of being managed, as they would be in public schools. They don’t just memorize the information they’ll need for the next exam, but really take in the information that is exciting and interesting to them.

Now, one may argue that in this way the children do not learn everything that will be important for them to succeed in life. In public schools a range of experts decide on what is and is not essential knowledge for children and teenagers to have. If a child was left to its own devices, it might decide to, for example, never learn any maths other than the bare necessities and instead spend its time learning all about the history of the Federated States of Micronesia. And while I wholeheartedly agree that this may not be a topic that will be hugely helpful in developing a career, that is not what early learning is about, according to the concept of unschooling.

Except for a few things every child has to learn (such as reading, simple maths and writing), it does not matter WHAT they choose to learn. Much more important is that they learn HOW to learn. When unschooled, a child will be free to figure out which learning technique works best for them, how they can take in new information quickly and relate it to other things they already know. This equips them to learn about any subject much quicker than traditionally schooled children, who have spent years memorizing information without ever being allowed to question if the technique used is optimal for them. John Holt, often called the father of unschooling, said on this topic:

“Since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to learn whatever must be learned.”

Another merit of unschooling is that the learners do not grow up to be afraid of mistakes. I vividly remember the horror and humiliation I felt in public school when I made a mistake and the teacher shamed and ridiculed me for it - in front of all my classmates. Soon, whenever I made a mistake I tried my best to repudiate it. I was tired, someone distracted me, I just didn’t read the assignment well enough - the excuses were endless. I did everything I could to minimize what I did wrong.

But in order to learn from a mistake, it is essential to acknowledge and own it. Only then one can start to explore it, find out where exactly the thought process was faulty, and correct it, thereby making sure the mistake, or a similar one, will not happen again. In an issue of Time magazine, Anne Murphy Paul summarized what she called a learning paradox: “The more you struggle and even fail while you’re trying to master new information, the better you’re likely to recall and apply that information later.” Only when one has this appreciation for failure, one can take on new problems with curiosity and ambition instead of fear and anxiety.

So, the theory of unschooling promises great successes and happy learners - but what are the actual, practical outcomes? Unfortunately, not many studies have been conducted on this topic. However, those that have been done paint an unanimously positively picture. One example is a study by Peter Gray. He questioned 75 unschooled adults of the ages of 18 to 49 on their experience. Of those, 72 people felt unschooling had advantaged them significantly. Among the most commonly experienced benefits were a better and wider-ranged social life and a higher self-motivation and drive to learn. Some of the disadvantages mentioned are difficulties connecting with schooled peers, which was mostly due to the differences in social styles and values, and problems adjusting to a college- or university-environment, where some of the respondents reported they “felt insulted, when professors assumed they had to tell them what they were supposed to learn.” In spite of those minor difficulties, 83 per cent of the respondents had pursued higher education and considered it not difficult academically. Only three participants reported that they felt unschooling had disadvantaged them, and in all three cases the mothers were of poor mental health and the fathers were uninvolved. Therefore, I believe it is safe to assume that unschooling can and does yield great results and give learners significant advantages.

I see unschooling as more than just an alternative to public school for children. It is a lifestyle, a way to approach the challenges life presents; and it’s tremendously helpful, even if employed later in life. It is having high self-esteem and trust in one’s abilities, even (and maybe especially) in the face of failure. It is being curious and enthusiastic about working through piles of information rather than becoming exhausted quickly and being resentful of whoever made it necessary for one to do that amount of work. It is learning and completing tasks efficiently with a small amount of time and effort rather than spending hours and hours on a something that might differ just slightly from something one had memorized already.

And because unschooling is so much more than just a way to educate young children, I say everyone could benefit from a little unschooling. I say, unschool yourself! If it so greatly benefits a child to be unschooled instead of being put into a traditional public school, then it will similarly benefit an adult to break free of conventional education or work structures. Personally, I am currently in the process of doing just that. I have begun to go to university, but quickly realized that it significantly demotivates me always to be told what I need to learn and when to learn it. I felt it smothering my natural curiosity and excitement that, a year after finishing school, I had just started to regain. Now, I do not know all the details of how I will unschool myself. But I don’t need to. Because that’s what unschooling is about - trying different ways of learning and finding out which one works best for you. Something that seems to work quite well for me is to put everything I learn into articles, some of which I publish. That way, I can freely decide what I want to write about and get completely immersed in it. At the same time, I can stay focused because I frequently come back to my writing which organizes my thoughts and prevents me from getting lost. But of course there are a million other ways to unschool yourself, and I might try a few more. What’s important is just that you do you. Learn about things you are passionate about and that inspire you. Learn about them because you love them, not because someone expects you to. And keep in mind that with unschooling, it’s not about having all the answers. It’s about gathering some ideas and just try them and see what happens. I can practically guarantee you that one of them will work.

What are your experiences with unschooling compared to traditional schooling? How did you break free of the all too common restrictions and the fixed mindset of public school?