First, Some Context

I think it was 2014 that we had the cloudiest and rainiest summer I can remember. Normally I enjoy the rain but when you don't sync your schedule with reality, you're going to have a bad time. I was working an office job that summer. Commuting in on greasy clay roads, I gave up washing my car.

Our dingy little office had rusted out underground ducting that would incubate spores of some kind when damp. Meanwhile, the guy that worked to my left lived his life at dangerously high body temperatures do to his cocktail of psychiatric medications (or so he claims, I think there was a bit of squeaky wheel syndrome going on as well) so if the sun dare grace us with its presence, He would actually turn on the AC. I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never wear shorts and flip flops even on days with a sunny noon hour for if I did, the cold dank exhaust would roll over my toes and cramp me up.

You'd think that I was some kind of pampered wuss from my whining. I am actually a hardy weathered northerner under normal circumstances however my regulatory systems are adapted to movement and hard work, not sitting all day in front of a screen drafting in neon colors, solving spacial problems that arise faster than any of my ancestors ever had to keep up with. I had to invent my own chair because no matter how deep I scoured the web, true ergonomics don't exist. As a guy who has slept in an ice cave, I can attest that when they say that sitting is the new smoking, They aren't committing hyperbole.

In tough times I sometimes pretend I'm in surreal circumstances. While my colleagues are on the brink of depression from lack of Vitamin D, I was fabricating purpose for my misery in my mind. That and I take my diet seriously. That summer as I would drive home, I sometimes pictured plague doctors disposing of black death victims and the fields wilting cause of the mini ice age Or something equally suitable for the scenery and so one day when I got home, instead of some escapist gaming, I jotted down some Brothers Grimm-esque lines. So now without further Ado:

the moment you have all been waiting for!

rain rain go away come again another day
the manes have mange grain drains in vain
mold slicked plank encrusted chain
chilled numb scuffed knuck
dark glum tough luck
splitting hooves stuck rut
sopping shoes rot muck
warping beams pulling seams
contemplate eternal dreams .

Thanks you, thank you. Thank you very much. And in case you're really good at jump rope, here's some more. I'll do this, I'll do this for ya:

bridge washed out
cisterns backed,
levies burst
foundations cracked.
pumps worn out
bilge overtime,
can't keep up
leave the mine.
drunkard uncle lost his liquor,
carried off by flood water.
between his stupor and hangover
down the ditch raging gutter
out toward a brown foul sewer.
breaching, seething, contaminating.
on the bright side
rats are flushed,
roaches drowned
mole burrows crushed.
mites and lice like clean dry hair
so none are here nor anywhere.
But nephews wheezing
neighbors sneezing,
grandpas coughing
'nternal bleeding.
cannot sleep incessant dripping,
colic child resolve is slipping.
mother runs a burning fever,
there's work to do but cannot leave her.

.gif made of imagery from Adventure Time: The Hard Easy~