Rule #1: Do not take rejection of women personally.

This sounds quite counterintuitive, as rejections are always personal when it comes to dating – at least this is what you would think. However, what one women might find appalling another will interpret as desirable. For example, some women are just into super pumped body builders while others prefer tall skinny guys like me.

However, the experience I have collected over the past years have proven to me that physical trades only make up a small portion of the attraction a woman feels towards you. It is my deepest conviction that the game is played on character and emotional level – sure status is a thing as well but that is just because women automatically associate positive character trades with successful men. It is much more important to display desirable trades to the female such as confidence, empathy or humor to evoke emotions. Not always is this successfully conveyed. For instance, confidence can easily be interpreted as arrogance, especially if you are good looking or bragging to much with your travel stories or other parts of your awesome life. Notorious is also the story of a friend, a natural with women, who was dating this Irish girl, which he was going to meet at a nightclub on a Friday night out. He already had a date with her, which went well. He stole a cheeky kiss in the end and she was texting him that she had a good time. At the club though, her purse was stolen and she was raging all night about how unfair life was to her. Needless, to say that nothing was happening that night. Worse, she anchored the negative emotions subconsciously to him. A prime example of how emotions can destroy feeble bonds in the “getting to know phase”– nothing he could do about this. The frame between the two never recovered. Move on. Next one. So not taking rejection personally is one of the healthiest advice I can give you.

My Journey begins

My first actual approach was on a garden terrace at the birthday party of a friend who was in my class. He was not particular popular (neither was I) but he hung out with the cool kids at my school from time to time because their parents knew each other. I was 16, young, inexperienced and shy but good looking (apparently so I was told by some girls at my school). It is fair to say that I wasn’t a looser or anything but I never made a first move and so lost the opportunity to get with the cute petite Mexican girl who just joined our school half a year earlier and who I knew was into me from school gossip. In addition, she was glancing at me from time to time in French classes so the signals were there but I was just too un calibrated to really pick them up. Long story short, another dude from my class was just faster and closed the deal making her his girlfriend. Back then I was of the impression that the girl can make the first move – how naïve of me. The loss of a girl that I could have had was the wakeup call I needed and I said to myself that I will take more initiative – I will take the first step!

So here I am standing at the terrace when 2 girls who were from the cool kids social circle and by far the hottest at the party entered. I knew they were single and we were alone on the terrace as the others were inside playing FIFA. What was going to happen next had such a profound impact on me that I still remember this day as if it was yesterday although it dates back more than 10 years. The brunette one with a nice body was smoking while the blond one (I love blondes) was sipping a beer looking disinterested around the garden. When our eyes crossed, I decided to ask them the all-deciding question: “And what are you deciding to study in the future?” (we previously talked about universities in the group and which one people planned on going to). I do not need to mention that I was nervous, heart beating out of my chest nervous in fact, but the worst was that the words left my mouth in an extremely high-pitched voice, which sounded super needy. The girls looked at me, then at each other, a second of silence (which felt like minutes) and then burst out laughing. They were laughing at me, at my weak attempt to make conversation. After they calmed down, I asked them again, somehow thinking I could save this situation. I am never going to forget the condescending look of the blonde. That look with which she puts you on a level way below her. Still bored she just said: “Businesss Administration” and then turned to her friend and commanded, “Let’s go back inside”. There I was standing alone on the terrace, shaking, feeling like someone just punched me in the face but worst of all emotionally hurt. I waited at least another 5 minutes before going back inside, as I was so embarrassed. Back then, I was not sure what went wrong but I knew something had to change. I know I said previously that you should not take rejection personal but this situation had revealed that the foundation of what makes a man a man was not yet in place. - Cheeky Fox

Next post I will be talking about my time in school up to university. The girls I was dating, the rejectios and another decisive moment which took place in a nightclub in Mallorca. Until then, Happy Gaming!