What is manipulation?

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Manipulation is a hidden psychological device by which you can force any person, I stress, anyone, to carry out the actions you need against his will and interests. But this is the standard definition of manipulation. And let's have you and I will give this skill a broader and more practical definition. Manipulation is a psychological weapon that gives a person the same (and even greater) advantage over other people, like other weapons. With the help of this weapon you can attack and capture, and you can protect and defend. It helps to survive and succeed. A good manipulator, that is, a person who skillfully owns hidden psychological methods - is much stronger than an armed man to the teeth. Why? Because he can induce a variety of people to the actions necessary to him and thus solve any problems and tasks. And what problems and tasks can a man armed with a weapon habitual in our understanding understand? Only a few, right? The strength of weapons has its limitations. But there are no restrictions at manipulations. You can manipulate all people, without exception, as the most ordinary, and the most powerful and powerful. The only limitation is your own abilities. The more advanced your skills of manipulation, the more people you can manipulate. At the same manipulations, there are no restrictions - you can manipulate any person.

The most, for someone terrible, but for someone pleasant in manipulation is the reluctance of people to recognize the fact that they are manipulated. If you tell a person that he was a victim of someone's manipulation, then most likely he will deny it and will continue to do what he did, including to prove to himself and to you that his choice is his choice and no one is manipulating them. My ego, too, does not want to recognize the fact that I'm being manipulated, but I know for sure that this is so. My thoughts, decisions, actions - can not be completely cleared from the influence of others, this is simply impossible to achieve.

How does manipulation work?

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Any manipulation is always aimed at three basic motivators of a person: instincts, belief system and life experience. Instincts determine the needs of people, and the belief system and life experience determine the way to meet these needs. For example, one of your instincts encourages you to find yourself a partner for a relationship. But you do not go and do not ask the first person of the opposite sex to enter into certain relationships with you, right? People, as a rule, do not do this. Culture, education, education - determine how we will meet this instinctual need - with whom, how and when we will get acquainted and by what rules we will build relationships with a person. Life experience also affects our preferences - it makes us more cautious and selective when choosing a partner. If a person in the past, as they say, was burned when acquainted with people of the opposite sex, then in the future he will try to act more circumspectly.

So, in order to manipulate people, it is necessary to influence their instincts, beliefs and all those patterns that are realized and not realized by them, which have formed in their head due to life experience. A good manipulator is first and foremost a good observer and an analyst who studies the object before starting to manipulate it. The bad manipulator applies to all people the same methods of manipulation, often quite primitive and obvious. Man - the object of manipulation, you can flatter, you can scare it, you can cause in him a feeling of greed and envy, to something to induce.

The manipulator must be thin and elegant, like a jeweler's. The manipulator must use its set of manipulations very carefully, pulling them out of his suitcase as if it were very fragile and expensive equipment, and not as if they were axes and sledgehammers. For this it is necessary to know about various examples of the application of various manipulation techniques to take this experience into account in their work with people. You can not manipulate people blindly - you need to have an idea of

how these or other manipulation methods work, when they work, with whom they work, and with whom there is no and what their strengths and weaknesses are.

How to protect yourself from manipulation?

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The most reliable weapon against manipulation is to eliminate the factor on which they try to play. However, in this case, a person must understand that they are manipulated, seeking something of their own. For example, if you understand that the gentleman is trying to have sex with you, constantly repeating that he took you to a restaurant and gave an expensive necklace, and you do not want an intimacy, then sincerely thank the companion for the wonderful gifts and go home with a calm conscience. If necessary, even return the man his gifts, so that the motives for which you must "pay off" the body are gone.

Do not succumb to the emotions that the manipulator is trying to cause. Most often people operate on your feelings of guilt, insecurity or fear of appearing bad in the eyes of others, but these are all just incentives that should force you to do something. So do not let your emotions guide you, try to maintain an internal balance and feel calm. At the same time, conduct a conversation based only on the facts, and not on the emotions that you should somehow experience. Speak on the case, completely excluding any kind of emotion.

Do not go to the person. One way to manipulate another person is by the method when the individual is removed from equilibrium, which was discussed in the previous paragraph. That is, you are trying to evoke a number of emotions and feelings that you could not control. This is due to the fact that another person starts to accuse, criticize, humiliate or insult you in something. You are trying to provoke a reciprocal feeling (aggression) in you, so that you will switch to an emotional dialogue: "I? But here you are ... ". It includes emotions and does not take into account the facts of the case, because of which you are easier to manipulate and push to what they want from you.

Remember your own beliefs, desires, goals that you aspire to. It is very easy to manipulate a person who does not know what he wants and how he relates to this or that phenomenon. Then the manipulator has to ask the "victim" the direction in which he should go to get the long-awaited benefit. Therefore, in order not to succumb to manipulation, you must clearly and clearly understand what you want, what goals are pursued, and what you are 100% sure of. Then any manipulation will be noticed, because it will contradict your goals or beliefs. And while you are confident that your goals are right, and life completely satisfies you, you are difficult to manipulate.